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hours, days, or weeks to go- today’s ultrasound leaves more questions than answers

The ultrasound today raised concerns for baby boy. 😦  I will be seen by a specialist at the hospital tomorrow morning and will either be sent home or wheeled in for a C-section!!! It is quite a turn around of events, as at my doctor appointment just yesterday my doctor didn’t think the babies had lowered enough to be really that close to coming out.

Today’s ultrasound, at 35 weeks and 3 days, showed that she is 6 lbs and 4 oz. He is 5 lbs and 6 oz. The size difference between them, and his going from being big for gestational age to small for gestational age are both red flags. Also, my amniotic fluid is low-normal.  He is transverse, so no matter what I am getting a c-section. And that could be anytime between tomorrow  a.m. and 9/22. Guess I’d better pack my bag just in case!! (I have plenty of time for that as I doubt I’ll sleep tonight wondering what will happen at the appointment tomorrow!)

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Asshole in an elevator

The books, particularly the twins books warned that this would happen. That some callous stranger would say something unbelievably awful and upsetting. They predicted it would be along the lines of how huge one gets when carrying more than one baby, but the book examples ran the gamit, from,”Did you know you are in the highest divorce rate group?” to personal probes about the conception, etc.

So I’m leaving my doctor appointment today, in a reasonably good mood in spite of the lack of air conditioning in the exam room and painful probing for the strep culture, and join a father and son waiting for the elevator. The boy looked about 9 or so. The father lets me get on first, and then remarks, “Is that gray hair I see?” Keeping it friendly I chuckle and say, “yes.” He looks at my belly and I add “premature of course,” with another forced chuckle. “He then asked,”Did you think this through?” Excuse me, but WTF?! He continued, telling me that he was 37 when he ‘got the call’ (or some similar expression, I don’t recall exactly).  I said,” that’s about what I am.” He then informed me, in front of his son, that he hadn’t been consulted.  Thankfully the doors opened and as we got off I politely remarked for his son’s sake, that it looks like it worked out very well for you. He, thank G-d, agreed. While walking to my car it really sank in how uncool this was. What I wished I’d said was, “Well, we thought this through very well when I was 36, but I lost that baby. Now I’m 38 and happily expecting.”

I know I shouldn’t let the jerk ruin my day, which other than a good night’s sleep at long last, hadn’t been such a great day anyhow. I stopped off for Zantac and comfort food on the way home. I think my food choices might have been better had I not let this guy get to me and been feeling sorry for myself. I feel for his kid, having an insensitive father who makes remarks like that (probably repeatedly) must suck.

Silly poem: Green light, kiddos! (but stay as long as you like!)

I’m 35 weeks today!

I’m 35 weeks today!

Contractions come what may.

The babies may come or stay.

‘Cause I’m 35 weeks today!

Hoo-ray!

I’m excited and still petrified that some of the major things aren’t done yet. For example, the insurance stuff is so confusing and I can’t get anyone on the phone. I’m getting even less done because I’m so exhausted from the horrible insomnia that I’ve had the last couple nights.and spend hours of the day trying to nap, sometimes successfully, especially if I remember to unplug the phone.  I don’t know why I even bother going to bed.  John was not spared last night. Sometimes I manage to be relatively quiet and not turn the lights on a lot, but last night every hour there was something causing me to either need the light or need to get up. I think I got about 2 hrs sleep total. I’m also ruining my teeth with throat lozenges and hardcandy (some of it sugarless but even that seems to stick to my teeth). But at least he got 12 hrs sleep the night before.Tonight I will try the couch!

So much of this final days of pregnancy stuff is TMI, but I can see where it would be helpful for others who are pregnant, especially those who are pregnant with multiples. I was thinking of doing a TMI page with a warning up top, but perhaps I’ll just let anyone who is interested message me and I’d be happy to answer any specific questions as best as I can, rather than a page of TMI onslaught of every icky symptom and discomfort. All I can say is the final days are WACKED!

eve of 35 weeks!!

My Doc said that if I go into labor after 34 weeks, she won’t try to stop it. That is <gulp!> tomorrow! On the one hand I’m excited to meet them and ready for some of the pregnancy nuisances to end, but on the other I want to make sure they are physically ready and also would like a little more time to get things done before they get here. I get so little done in a day that I know it won’t all get done, but the more time to get prepared the better. I can tell I’m anemic again now. Earlier the symptoms were subtle. The whites of my eyes are really white, few capillaries showing and my energy is very low. I have loads of new or exaggerated symptoms, but they fall into the TMI cateory, so I guess I won’t post about them other than to say my brain is too wired and body too achy to sleep at night, and my brain and body are too tired to function especially during the day and evening. When I am wired enough to get up and take advantage of the insomnia energy burst I do, but sometimes I’m too awake to sleep and too sleepy to get up. Similarly I’m too achy to stand or walk much at all, gravity and the weight is really uncomfortable. Yet sitting, lying down, etc. are uncomfortable too. <sigh> The heartburn and nosebleeds are worse and the TMI stuff is a major pain, literally. The size of my belly is quite impressive, too. 2 days ago we measured it. It’s hard to appreciate in pictures, but for the curious among you, take a tape measure and make a loop of 52 inches and that my friends is how much belly I have.( no butt included) It is literally more than twice my high school waist size!

34wks5days

34wks5days

34 week blimp!

I had remarked once that I FELT like a life-size weeble-wobble. Well, thanks to an unfortunately placed mirror, I noticed that I now look like one, too! (photo coming soon)

We are getting so close! After this week the doctor said that if I go into labor they won’t try to stop it! Of course, there is no telling when that could be. But it means that at the earliest we are talking Aug. 31 and at the latest Sept. 21, when I would either be induced or given a c-section.

I wanted to mention a clarification on all my previous posts. When I said “natural birth” I was referring to vaginal birth, not unmedicated birth. I want meds! I’m just not sure that I want to be sliced open. I thought the word “natural” sounded better and perhaps was less oogy for our friends and family reading this (particularly the men) but hadn’t considered that it could imply  a different meaning than I had intended.

John is nearly done painting the nursery! 🙂 Next we will put all our stuff away; hopefully it will all fit! My biggest accomplishment so far this week is picking out (well sort of) 2 pack n plays. My G-d, there are HUNDREDS of them, Babies R Us alone has about 100,and just when you think you’ve found a great one you read several reviews making you reconsider. This was almost as bad as on-line shopping for the right car model! Ultimately I chose the Graco Pack ‘n Play Playard – Barcelona Bluegrass mostly because it matches the travel lite version of the same name.(silly, I know but the half dozen or so including this one that I narrowed it down to were so similar that I figured why not.) I wanted one super portable one and one with more features including the diaper changing station.  I’m a little concerned as some of the reviews report that the diaper changing area tilts when in use; hopefully it will work out because I’m sick of looking!

Thank goodness it’s less hot because I have zero tolerance for heat now that I’m 8.5 mos! My energy is understandably more depleted as well. But for the record, that is NOT why I wear PJs around the house most days. I have one dress that I wear all the time and I need to save it somewhat  because even though I wash it frequently,I also get food on it frequently. (I suspect that I could accurately guess a how far along a pregnant woman is by the location of food stains on her shirt.) I’m too stubborn to buy more clothes when I could literally go into labor next week, so I will make do until T-day. (twins day).

My doctor appointment next week, the 35 week exam, includes lots of funness. For you prego readers, at 35 weeks you can look forward to a strep culture, yes, down there, and a cervical exam. Also next week is my final regularly scheduled ultrasound! (short of any impromptu Dr. appts or admittance to the hospital) The initial vaginal or c-section birth decision will be based on their positions during this ultrasound!!!

33 weeks; like an ent but with a waddle

I’ve been panicked and overwhelmed with the feeling that they are coming SOON. Every time I stand up I feel gravity doing its worst. I really needed to do a food run today and did not feel up for it at all. I dragged myself through 2 grocery stores a little like an ent but with a waddle.  Everytime I feel like I am overdoing it, I hear my Dr. and her incoherent advice, “I hate to use the word bedrest, but take it easy….” What in the heck does that mean?! I presume if she wanted me on bedrest she would say so. And indeed she did say she didn’t want me to just lie around and get stiff. But what is her idea of taking it easy? This from the woman who only a few weeks ago wanted me to walk every day. I will see her Thursday and will ask, but when she said it before I felt pretty ok. Now I physically just can’t do certain things. Standing and walking are becoming chores. I guess it’s no wonder. My babies have been measuring 2-3 weeks bigger than average, and average for 33 wks is the size of a cantelope! So I am carrying around 2 very large cantelopes plus all the extra fluid and stuff and man oh man I feel it!

While naturally I am not as productive as I had been, we managed to get several things accomplished this week. The room that was my office and will be the nursery is emptied, except for the closet. It will be painted later in the week. Thanks very much to those who either helped with that room or the basement (which made room for the stuff in the other room)!!  John really knocked himself out, and now his body is getting him back as he seems to be coming down with something. We applied for health insurance for the babies. I started getting ahead on some of our bills, and buying some of the items I need for the hospital. Today, I nearly finished my thank you notes.

Still left: cleaning, laundry, buying supplies and equipment (some of it pressing), typing up my birthplan, packing my bag for the hospital, finishing the Lamaze video just in case we can give birth naturally, a variety of things around the house, and tying up loose ends with my very PT consulting.

Please stay in there little ones, you aren’t ready yet! (& neither are Mommy and Daddy).

We have LOTS more to do, and I was depending on John to do most of it, and it looks like he is coming down with a cold. Usually he is able to do an impresive Rip Van Winkle impersonation and be largely over it. Ah, to sleep like that! I’m jealous!

Only weeks away! (a typical day at 8 months or 32 wks!)

Average for twins is around 34 /35 weeks, so it really is getting close!

My belly feels tight and heavy, and the babies seem to have lowered. I have very little stamina, which could be regular old late pregnancy with twins or due to the anemia, which by the way my doctor says gets worse not better!  The best I can hope for with the supplements is to keep my iron levels stable.

My days have been getting less and less productive, and I am getting very overwhelmed at the long list of undone items. Unfortunately, most of these are quite physical (errands, cleaning, packing and moving stuff, etc.) which I can barely do at all.

My typical day lately is quite pathetic.  Here is a snapshot that represents the last few days:

4 a.m.: wake up with dry throat from mouth breathing because my nose is

stuffed up. Sip water and attempt to go back to sleep; am too tired to get up just yet.

4:15 a.m. muse on baby names while I try to go back to sleep

4:30 begin to drift off but awaken with acid reflux, sit up abruptly until it settles, adjust pillows which have slid down, propping myself into a sitting position.(repeat like 15 times)

5:00 too tired to get up; too awake to sleep

6:50 alarm goes off, I am still awake. Nudge hubby.

7:00 alarm goes off again, nudge hubby more persistently

7:10 alarm goes off a third time; more insistently nudge hubby. He gets up. I turn off alarm and fall asleep soon after he leaves the house for work.

9:30ish I awaken having added 2 more hrs. sleep for a total of about 6.5 ( a significant improvement BTW!)  I am too groggy and tired to get up.  However, I am thirsty and hungry and in need of my acid reducer pill. I promise myself I’ll get up in 10, then 20, then 30 minutes. I feel the babies move around, contorting my stomach uncomfortably, like in Aliens right before they burst out of her stomach. The babies are probably demanding food. I am wishing I kept 2 glasses of water by the bed as I am thirsty, my glass is empty, and paranoia sets in about whether or not I just felt a contraction. (contractions and pre-term labor can be set off by dehydration). I know I should get up and  eventually do, to “feed the babies.”

10:10 I get my butt downstairs and drink some water with an iron pill chaser. Fix breakfast even though I’m really supposed to have the iron pill on an empty stomach because I nor the babies want to wait an hour to eat. I am careful; though, not to have anything with calcium for 2 hrs. In an hour I can take the heartburn medicine.

10:40 I get on the computer while I eat, which I know is a mistake as it zaps time away from me. I manage to break away from the screen to do something on my to do list.

11:10 I need to sit down and rest for a few minutes before resuming physical activity.

11:40 I realize it’s too hot now to work on packing up and cleaning the den, soon to be nursery, which is on the top floor, so instead go back to wasting time on the computer, etc.

12:00 p.m. make my umpteen millionth to-do list

1:00 realize I haven’t eaten in a few hours and go looking for lunch

1:30 realize that while I had searched for food, I didn’t actually eat anything. Return to kitchen and repeat.

2:00 Starving and find something to fix myself for lunch.

2:30 Crap, where did the day go!  Attempt to do something else productive. If I am successful, I may require an hour-long nap afterward.

5:00ish get up, drink some water, and shower.(better late than never)

6:00 p.m. John gets home, greets me, and then gets on his computer. He comes down and complains about our messy house and wishes it would burn down. We discuss our plans for the week, the days events, etc.  Some nights he fixes me dinner. (Sometimes I fix him dinner, though a lot less often lately.)

7:00 Depending on my productivity during the day, I may have a little energy left to tackle another to-do item or 2.

10-11:00 Get ready for bed. Look over John’s shoulder as he reads his blogs and news on his laptop. Baby girl pummels her daddy where the sides of his and my belly touch.

11:30-12:00 a.m. lights out.